In the future, Captain “Long” Tom Majors was piloting his ship when he got a distress call from a nearby star.
“I hope it’s a hot scientist,” said Captain “Long” Tom Majors. It was. Her name was Dr. Elizabeth Hotpot and she was pretty sexy. But also she was in trouble.
“I am in trouble, Captain ‘Long’ Tom Majors!” she said.
He said, “I am on my way!”
“You don’t even know where I am,” she said, looking flustered and sexy, “or what’s wrong.”
But Captain “Long” Tom Majors didn’t care because he was a decisive commander who brooked no guff and leapt before he looked like a loose cannon that was off the beaten path. He warped his ship to the planet where Dr. Elizabeth Hotpot was and she was there. Also, so was the Space Lesbian Armada.
“Blast!” said Captain “Long” Tom Majors as his ship slowed down. “It’s just like a woman not to tell me about something important like Space Lesbians.”
“I am sorry, Captain ‘Long’ Tom Majors,” she said. “There was no time to warn you. By the way, it’s the Space Lesbian Armada.”
The Space Lesbian Armada pointed the guns of their ships at Captain “Long” Tom Majors. Actually, the guns were pointed at his ship, but they only did that because they knew he was aboard. Space Lesbians do not point guns at empty ships, because that is not something they do.
Captain “Long” Tom Majors’s screen came on and it was Admiral Vaginoplasty. She also looked pretty flustered and sexy but since she was a Space Lesbian Captain “Long” Tom Majors knew that it would be pretty hard to seduce her, as Space Lesbians are much harder to seduce than regular lesbians which even Captain “Long” Tom Majors is known to have trouble with.
“Surrender, Captain ‘Long’ Tom Majors,” said Admiral Vaginoplasty. “There is no escape from this place.”
Captain “Long” Tom Majors needed a plan. “Can I seduce you?” he said.
“No,” she said. “I am a Space Lesbian. We are only mildly bi-curious toward you, Captain ‘Long’ Tom Majors, and duty comes before bi-curiosity.”
Captain “Long” Tom Majors needed a better plan. But first he had to write down what Admiral Vaginoplasty said about duty and bi-curiosity, because it was pretty important for later. Then he suddenly had a plan.
“Are you sure I can’t seduce you?” he said. “Really sure?”
Admiral Vaginoplasty was confused because women usually are and also she was a Space Lesbian so that provided considerable conflict of interest. She became pretty introspective. That was when Captain “Long” Tom Majors beamed Dr. Elizabeth Hotpot onto his ship and started to fly away.
“It was a trick!” said Admiral Vaginoplasty, who wanted to get Captain “Long” Tom Majors for his deception. “Get him!” she said. So the Space Lesbian Armada started chasing the ship where Captain “Long” Tom Majors and Dr. Elizabeth Hotpot were on and fleeing the Space Lesbian Armada from in that ship.
“Even though you aren’t very used to it, suck on this!” Captain “Long” Tom Majors said. He shot at the Space Lesbian Armada with the guns on his ship and penetrated them unexpectedly. But the Space Lesbian Armada just kept coming after them.
“You can’t escape!” said Admiral Vaginoplasty.
Then they escaped.
“Captain ‘Long’ Tom Majors!” said Dr. Elizabeth Hotpot. She was suddenly angry and sexy. “You rescued me so fast that I didn’t have time to collect my experiments!”
Captain “Long” Tom Majors said, “I know, I am very fast at rescuing people. But don’t worry, since you’re a woman no one was really expecting you to learn anything anyway.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” Dr. Elizabeth Hotpot said. “Let’s have sex.”
So they did. It was pretty awesome.
“This just proves that marriage should be between one man and one woman,” Captain “Long” Tom Majors said.
“But Captain ‘Long’ Tom Majors, it’s the future,” she said, “No one in the future gets married.”
“Oh, that’s right,” he said.
THE END
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